magician_king | IC INBOX for The Last Voyages

"Expressing the way you really feel can make you vulnerable. And make you look desperate. What's more important to you- that you look cool, or that he knows he's admired, desired, and respected?"

There are days where he can't have both.

"I went on national television to recommend androids over humans as sexual partners," he points out, which is to say: "I have never once cared about looking cool."

"Then why aren't you telling him what he means to you?"

Pushing, just a little.

"Because..."

He glares at a lightbulb for several moments.

"Because I don't know well enough to articulate it."

"Well, practice. Explain it to me now. What does Rhys mean to you?"

He's got nowhere to be.

"Quentin-"

He takes in a breath.

"I literally do not have the vocabulary for this."

"You have a perfectly fine vocabulary, you're just rearranging words into unfamiliar configurations."

He insists, watching him.

"How has your life been improved by knowing Rhys?"

"I don't feel comfortable rehearsing this with you," he says plainly, and descends the ladder to move it along the hallway.

"Only because you don't feel comfortable saying it." Pulling himself up, following after to set up the ladder with him.

Edited 2019-12-12 01:01 (UTC)

"Frankly? Yes. But I can't imagine that you'd want to say to me what you plan on taking to your next conversation with Jedao," he says, bluntly.

"It would be really nice to have someone to talk to about that. Normally it'd be Fives, but he isn't speaking to me."

So;

"Rehearsing this stuff is normal and healthy."

Elijah almost says something about needing to see his sources for that, but retreats up a ladder instead.

"Well, I wouldn't be any use regardless. I don't know him."

"It's not about whether you know him, it's about whether I know how to express myself."

Quentin informs his back;

"It's immaterial."

"Surely there's an element of adaptation to your audience," Elijah murmurs, not really caring, just conscious that picking at technicalities beats having a real conversation.

"That's level two. Level one is just stringing together a sentence about what you're feeling."

"Which I will do. When I'm in an environment which feels conducive."

I.e. not up a ladder in his ex-warden's company.

"All right. But don't chicken out."

Pulling out that ex warden card a little on him.

"I suppose you'll never know."

Card declined.

"Except Rhys is my spy in the garden of love."

Not shy about pointing out.

"Rhys is your - Christ," Elijah mutters, possibly his first blasphemy in Quentin's company. "Rhys needs to keep our confidences. I'll talk to him."

"Fine, fine!"

He says, holding up his hands spread in submission.

"Don't do that, I want him to be able to talk to me if he needs to."

"....Does he talk to you about him and I?" Elijah asks, shielding a slight sense of vulnerability.

"Only conversationally."

He says, with a small smile.

"He's never said anything that didn't make me glad you two have each other."

Surely any discussion is, by definition, a conversation. Is this something other than that? How is Quentin measuring it?

"....Good," he remarks, cautiously.

"Never be afraid to talk to people, Elijah. Never do anything you'd be afraid to have talked about."

Is Quentin's best advice.

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biocomposer - 2019-12-13 09:23 (UTC) - Expand