"Yeah. They're definitely married, but they don't seem to want to get rid of me, so I guess it's not that different."
He'll just- come over and help do the last little bit of work on that mattress, with a few fortifying spells of his own, picked up over a couple of years dealing with this back of his. He's gotten good at making mattresses better.
"I don't know yet. At first it was awful. I felt like a dumb spare part with no good fit. But then I calmed down and went over and had a cup of tea, and fell asleep on the bed between them while they chatted, and that part felt really good. Safe, and secure, and like I'd found a place I fit into."
Shrugging, a little uncertainly.
"It's nice to be underfoot with people who care about each other, doing their thing. Jedao tried to get my back to stop hurting, Fives chilled out and watched and drank tea. It was- good. I wasn't what they are, but I was valued."
"Fives is part of a slave population of soldiers forced to go to war. Jedao and him are going to go free them. I'm going to go take over a planet and build a sustainable city on it while they do that- a couple of cities, actually, using veteran population and refugees from the conflict. Eventually when there's peace- or peace enough, everyone's going to retire there. But yeah- I could use some company building the perfect world."
"Yeah. And it's a weird population- very harmed, very codependent, without natural family units you can count on- they'll have grown up in units but also experienced heavy casualties."
So, a shake of his head and a shrug.
"Will they want to cook in kitchens? In mess halls?"
"Libraries, print or electronic. Communications. Work delegation. Work planning. Sanitation and medical facilities, education facilities, governance and processing centres."
Tilting his head side to side.
"It's gonna be fun- and I could honestly use someone with your raw processing power for magic and common sense and compassion."
"...I don't know what it would feel like. To not have to...struggle, for
everything, all the time."
Sometimes, like in their shared dreamscape, he thinks he can imagine what
it would be like. To not feel like he's constantly pushing against an
environment that wants him hurting or dead or suppressed. But in the light
of day, those fantasies stop making sense, start feeling insane.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 11:38 am (UTC)"Why?"
Clarifying:
"Why does it matter? It was just coincidence."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 12:40 pm (UTC)He says, and shakes his head, snapping out of it.
"Well. Another weird flood survived."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 01:36 pm (UTC)"Yes."
He brings his mattress back together, although it doesn't look as comfortable as it used to.
"...Have you and Jedao spoken? Since then?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 01:41 pm (UTC)He'll just- come over and help do the last little bit of work on that mattress, with a few fortifying spells of his own, picked up over a couple of years dealing with this back of his. He's gotten good at making mattresses better.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 02:26 pm (UTC)"What's it...like? Being like that with them?"
He knows it's a vague question but he doesn't know how to be any more exact.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 02:31 pm (UTC)Shrugging, a little uncertainly.
"It's nice to be underfoot with people who care about each other, doing their thing. Jedao tried to get my back to stop hurting, Fives chilled out and watched and drank tea. It was- good. I wasn't what they are, but I was valued."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 03:14 pm (UTC)"Are you going to stay together when you leave?"
He has no excuse other than morbid curiosity to be asking.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 02:34 am (UTC)Glancing quickly up at him;
"No chance you want to come hang out on a newly colonized planet full of clones?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 11:30 am (UTC)"I...."
What do you even say to that.
"Maybe. Is that what you're all going to do?"
He's not sure what Shiro wants to do after she's finished with the Barge, and her thoughts will definitely influence his own decision.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:08 pm (UTC)A small, normal, everyday task.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:10 pm (UTC)"That's..."
Ambitious.
"You'll find somewhere that's empty and make it so people can live there?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:15 pm (UTC)So, a shake of his head and a shrug.
"Will they want to cook in kitchens? In mess halls?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:34 pm (UTC)"Maybe mess halls until they find families," Credence suggests. "Until they learn how to cook, if they don't know already."
And some of them will simply never want or need to live in family units, he supposes.
"But I know what you're saying. There's a lot to think about."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:38 pm (UTC)He says, and ticks off;
"Libraries, print or electronic. Communications. Work delegation. Work planning. Sanitation and medical facilities, education facilities, governance and processing centres."
Tilting his head side to side.
"It's gonna be fun- and I could honestly use someone with your raw processing power for magic and common sense and compassion."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:41 pm (UTC)"I...I'll think about it," is the best he can offer. "I'll have to talk to Shiro."
He also kind of needs to confirm that they're still...a thing. That she even likes this changed version of himself.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:12 pm (UTC)He says, with a nod.
"But I think you guys are like me. Like you should roll around."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:15 pm (UTC)Credence shakes his head.
"I've been rolling around for six months. I want..."
His voice cracks a little on the realisation.
"I've never had a home."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:17 pm (UTC)He assures him, quietly.
"Don't decide yet- let's make sure we're okay, but yeah- if we are- yeah."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:20 pm (UTC)"I don't care about easy."
He wouldn't even recognise easy.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:38 pm (UTC)"Is that something you can even imagine wanting?"
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 01:44 pm (UTC)"...I don't know what it would feel like. To not have to...struggle, for everything, all the time."
Sometimes, like in their shared dreamscape, he thinks he can imagine what it would be like. To not feel like he's constantly pushing against an environment that wants him hurting or dead or suppressed. But in the light of day, those fantasies stop making sense, start feeling insane.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-05 09:46 am (UTC)He says, with a snort.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-05 10:00 am (UTC)"Exactly," Credence says. They're talking along the same tracks here. "I'm alright with that."
'Gross, uphill slog' has characterised basically his entire life so far. What's a few years more?
no subject
Date: 2019-02-05 11:01 am (UTC)He says, but hesitates, and then just goes out and admits;
"But we should make sure you won't resent it, you know? And me. I don't want to do this on the basis of your memory of what we were."
no subject
Date: 2019-02-05 11:04 am (UTC)"Oh."
Credence's shoulders tighten a little. Rune chirps at him reassuringly.
"I...thought we were still friends."
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: