IC INBOX for The Last Voyages

[magician_king]

You know what to do.

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[ninefox]

"I know," he says softly. "I won't say the research gave me the idea, but it did...clarify certain possibilities. I'm setting myself deescalation goals." Nobody died.

He turns his head a little to look at Fives, feeling something sore and sour, like a mouth ulcer.

"If it's not crazy then it's just weak. Being this vulnerable to someone who doesn't care doing this to me is untenable. If it's because I'm crazy, then at least I'm doing it to myself. So I'm trying to focus on that perspective."

[callmefives]

Fives lets out a slow breath and dips his chin in acknowledgment. He can understand that too, even if he's not sure it actually makes sense.

"Is there any way we can help you control it, then?" Not get over it, he doesn't know if there's getting over it. Not make him feel safer, because he's not sure that's possible and also looking at it that way would possibly just make Jedao feel weaker. "Anything other than this?" Being here for him after he's already done what he felt he needed to do for now....

[magician_king]

"Yes."

Says Quentin, because if there's anything, of course he's there too. He bends down, and kisses one of Jedao's knees, then the other, still trying hard not to fret, letting off a little of the energy before he curls back closer, finally remembers to sip his tea.

"Short or long term, too. And feel free to ask later if it comes to you in a bit."

[ninefox]

It's tempting to ask to lie down and dissociate for a while, but if he hides from this it'll still be paralyzing when the pain simmers down.

"Could you take my gloves off and hold my hands," he asks, even though it doesn't sound like a question. It sounds like a march; he's not going to drift, he's going to hold on. He's going to go through.

[callmefives]

Fives immediately threads his fingers through Jedao's one last time, then reaches for his near hand, carefully peeling his glove off and enfolding it in his own, leaving the other for Quentin. "Always, ner'riduur. Always."

[magician_king]

Quentin takes his cue, and cooperates with moving the teacups to safety before taking the other hand, ungloving it carefully and then winding it to hold between both of his own- like it's a cold night and Jedao has just come in with frozen fingertips.

"What's the etymology of ner'riduur? I have a good sense of the translation, obviously, but- the pieces are a bit of a mystery."

[ninefox]

Jedao smiles crookedly; something unutterably tender breaks through the distance and the morass. He grips Quentin's hand tight for a moment, although he has to relax his hand immediately afterward, eyes seeing white from the pain. He's going to have to be careful - move like he's fencing all the time, telegraph nothing with his shoulders and collarbone that he's doing with his hand.

"Neither of us are Mando'a etymologists, love," Jedao says gently after a few seconds to catch his breath back. "And they're both very basal concepts. I could tell you a few phrases built on riduur, but not the other way around. Unless I'm missing something?" he asks Fives hazily.

[callmefives]

"I... don't actually know what etymology means," he admits, wrinkling his nose. "But I'm guessing from context it has something to do with where the word came from? Maybe?" It's really not the kind of word he's ever had reason to know, after all.

And if so, then-" He shrugs, though he's careful not to move his hands or jostle Jedao- "I don't have any idea, and I'm not sure if anyone's ever written down things like that about the language."

[magician_king]

"Exactly."

He says to Fives, and bends forward, touching Jedao's fingertips to his lips, carefully too, so he doesn't have to shift his shoulder.

"Okay- but what's the difference between ner'riduur and riduur? I hear you use both. Is it just a shortened nickname, like sweetheart to sweetie, or does each piece of the word have a different meaning?"

[ninefox]

"Riduur is husband. 'Ner' is mine." There's an impulse to touch Quentin more, to stroke a thumb along the line of his neck, but of course Jedao's hands are already caught. "Ner'karta, my heart." Jedao still fancifully uses Ner'karta for Fives occasionally, despite their marital status; Fives put his heart back in his hollow chest in Fantasia, and Fives gave him his heart back long before that.

[callmefives]

"Ner'vod, my brother... or sibling, really, since there is no gender in Mando'a," Fives adds. "And ori'vod is big brother." Something Tup sometimes calls him, and that he's very rarely called Jedao. "Vod'ika is little brother. Cyare is beloved, cyar'ika is... sweetheart, basically."

Possessives, diminutives. He uses them all the time and should have explained them better rather than left them to context. He loosens one hand from Jedao's and reaches down to ruffle Quentin's spun silk hair before curling it back around Jedao's again.

[magician_king]

He perks up subtly at cyar'ike- that's his name! And tilts his head into Fives' touch, closing his eyes for a beat at the familiar comfort.

"What about the difference between ika and ike? Is ike always plural?"

He has a pretty clear sense that it is- but exploring Mando'a is a nice, safe, warm space to be in together.

[ninefox]

"Almost anything ending in e is plural. Vod'e, brothers, verd'e, soldiers, ad'ike, children. Adate, people. 'Ika and 'ike aways mean little, but sometimes the implications are specific. Ik'aad is the same roots as adiik, but adiik is child and Ik'aad is more like a baby. Under three, really little. And 'ni' is the first person pronoun, so N'ika is a pun."

His nickname for Nico, in the gently paternal spirit of junior, literally translates to little me.

[callmefives]

He likes this too. Likes listening to Jedao explain the things he's taught him, and that he's taught himself on his own, and he smiles softly at Jedao's explanation of his nickname for Nico.

"You know, I didn't fully grasp that brother was a gender-specific term until after I'd been here for... a while, really." And he still tends to think of Shiro as a brother. Hope and Alec too, after a fashion.

[magician_king]

Quentin looks up at Fives with a quick little smile at the thought. It's a sweet confusion.

"How do you say 'good morning, sweetheart?' do greetings differentiate morning, afternoon, evening? Or by level of affection?"

Tips of his fingertips touching to Jedao's, idly, as they settle.

[ninefox]

"The most common greeting is just olarom, welcome. Var'tuur jatne would literally mean 'the morning is good' but I'm kind of hearing it in my brother's voice very brightly at four AM and he's sending me out to feed the chickens."

He's hurting enough that it's easy to go a little hazy, to disappear in warrens of word and association.

"Morutar is to welcome, so maybe...moru'tuur, the welcome day. The day welcomes? It sounds casual, anyway. Sweetheart...Ibi'tuur moruti bah gar'cyare. The day welcomes you, beloved." Jedao looks to Fives carefully, dreamily, not jostling himself, as if to see how he did on a test.

[callmefives]

Fives smiles warmly at him, and doesn't even feel too badly about having to admit that, even now, even after teaching him so much, he's not completely fluent himself. He was taught piecemeal and informally, after all, and sometimes he's just stringing things together in ways that make sense, like Jedao's doing now.

"That sounds like it should be right. Mostly we greeted each other with su cuy'gar," he admits. Which amounts to, basically, you're still alive. Or still alive you in the Mando'a construction.

[magician_king]

"Ibi'tuur moruti bah gar'cyare. Gar'cyare, gar'cyare."

Says Quentin, to Fives at first, and then to himself, nailing down the slightl tricky construction. He looks up at su cuy'gar, with an arch of his eyebrows. He can't translate that quite yet.

"What's the word fro strength- but emotional strength, internal fortitude."

[ninefox]

"I figured su cuy'gar was mostly, like, hello," Jedao muses, without thinking to explain the literal meaning when presented with another question.

"Mmm. Ramikadyc? Which literally means 'commando-like'," he adds, and laughs for a second before going pale at the pain of jostling the injury, so he stops.

[callmefives]

Fives smiles at Quentin, at his earnestness and love.

"Yeah, that's the closest I know," he agrees with Jedao, then braces him gently when he pales. "I think dral is really just physical strength, but ramikadyc is what they tried to train into us; the idea that you can do anything, endure anything, in pursuit of a goal." That goal, of course, being to die gloriously in service of the Republic.

[magician_king]

"What about in a slightly more naturalistic sense?"

Proposes Quentin, who doesn't know if that captures what he's looking for. He laces his hand with Jedao's, freeing up one to reach down and touch his leg, running a soothing hand up and down his thigh absently as he contemplates the meaning of words, and while Jedao's pain passes.

"Like a mountain. An growing oak. The smooth river stone. Either an adjective describing them or a noun for one of those things."

[ninefox]

"Atin or Atinla, maybe?" Jedao proposes. "Sort of...stubborn, tough, resisting anything. Atiniir is to endure. Cerar is mountain, but all the adjectival forms are about, like...pointy." He has to suppress the urge to giggle again; the endorphin haze is starting to pulse in a push-pull rhythm with the pain. "Choruk is stone."

[callmefives]

"A lot of my brothers chose Atin or Atin'la as a name, because of that. Atin'la's more tough, to atin's stubborn." He loosens one hand from Jedao's again and reaches up to stroke his fingers through his hair, the strands catching on his callouses and pulling a little.

"You're definitely atin'la, riduur," he teases Jedao, but looks down at Quentin to include him in the description. "And atin."

[magician_king]

"He's helping me pick something for you, choruk'ika."

He does not know for sure if this translates the sentiment at all. His voice stays low and steady, even as he teases Fives lightly.

"Our rock. Source of a little more strength every time, like knowing you is a secret pebble in my pocket. J, does choruk'ika come close, am I in the right ballpark or does it sound silly?"

Pet names aren't his forte but he does love language. He's careful not to infuse urgency into the question, just curiosity, a sweet puzzle to brainstorm together while Jedao catches his breath.

[ninefox]

"I think it sounds a little silly. But I also think it's okay for pet names to be silly." And he will manfully refrain from making and jokes about stones if Quentin and Fives both like it. "Maybe something with morut? That's...haven, stronghold. Morut'yc, safety." And the root of morutar, welcome. "Ner'morut."

Or maybe that one should be one of Jedao's endearments for Quentin, for both of them; he feels very safe now, in ways he would not have predicted when he called them. Silly goose, him. He carefully squeezes both their hands again.