IC INBOX for The Last Voyages

[magician_king]

You know what to do.

Comments

[ninefox]

I like your voice.

[He tilts his head contemplatively.]

Although possibly you don't want to reinforce this behavior.

[He holds up the fingers on his right hand, almost an inch apart; when he said in the bone in meant in it, but clarifying aloud might bother Quentin.]

[magician_king]

I can't not be nice to you right now. Positive reinforcement be damned- I'll just have to be twice as nice to you the day after tomorrow.

[He answers, slightly less panicky, slightly more focused. The water runs in the background as the kettle fills.]

Blood magic gets a bad reputation because a lot of beginners think it sounds cool and do each other permanent damage bootlegging rites, but in actual practical usage it's a somewhat niche but generally useful kind of sorcery when it comes to recovering from injuries. You work it almost exclusively through fresh herbs and incantations in Dagbani, a fairly regionally specific African language- and you get the most purchase using plants from that area of the world too.

[And off he goes, into the full and thorough explanation that always comes when Quentin Coldwater starts talking about sorcery. His voice will keep them quiet company while Fives patches and cleans Jedao up, while they work their way home to him.

It takes a long time to answer the question- that he could effectively save Jedao from an ill intentioned poisoning or the venom of a serpent or what have you, or even probably do something about accidentally consumed poisonous berries or even help with straight up alcohol poisoning, but not much more than that. If they tried to poison him with his medication then they could probably wipe about half of what was already in his system out when they worked on it- the words 'wax on, wax off' are used- but he'd need to do about a week of reading in the library to be sure he wouldn't accidentally murder him in the process.

Also the living room is tidied, laid cozily out, with tea and food on a tray on the kitchen table in case the bedroom ends up being the better bet. Actually Quentin's energy just translates into him cleaning every part of the house, just in case.]

[callmefives]

Fives peels off the skinseal with efficient brutality so he can examine the wound. He takes Jedao's lead and doesn't talk about it, just checks the edges, frowns at the severity, and slathers it with bacta while Quentin explains steadily in the background. Then it's just a matter of getting it properly bandaged and helping Jedao on with his jacket.

[ninefox]

It's one single cut, incredibly neat and clean, avoiding major nerves and blood vessels. Jedao isn't so much stoic as stoned; he closes his eyes early on, sways and moves easily at nudges of Fives' hands, trusting and docile. He feels like all his normal energy and madness are eroded but the steady pain, like waves beating rocks smooth along the sea shore. He feels carried inward by the slow tide.

Maneuvering his arm into his sleeve is the worst part; the pain crests and crashes, and his face contorts in a grimace, although he doesn't make a sound. Not even like he's trying all that hard to keep quiet, but as though he forgot how.

"Love you," he murmurs, a voiceless whisper, before the door opens, and then he's grinning and standing straight, a perfect facsimile of his more usual ease.

[magician_king]

Casting about while he chats, Quentin looks around their home for the thing that will help. He microwaves the bag of rice he uses on the small of his back. He lays out Sense and Sensibility and a jigsaw puzzle on the coffee table. Ex explains about Dagomba succession traditions and the alternating generations of kings and the impact each of the ruling lineages have had on the spellwork over history.

He feeds every pet and waters every plant and is waiting at the door when they arrive with the huge orange cozy sweater.

[callmefives]

It's the depth that worries him, and that Jedao sat here and did it to himself, slicing through skin and bone while he bled all down himself and onto the floor. Nothing like the weals and burns Fives asks him to give him. Though at least he took pains not to maim himself.

He's the most careful when helping Jedao into his jacket, making sure not to do anything that might open the carefully bandaged wound. Once it's done, he doesn't ask him if he's up to the walk home, he knows he is.

"I love you too, you di'kut," he murmurs back, and positions himself on Jedao's bad side, so no one can bump into him in the hall as they walk.

"We're on our way, now," he tells Quentin.

[ninefox]

There's a teetering moment where Jedao sways toward Fives almost automatically. He's Acting Normal, and normally he would amiably bump their shoulders together in the hallway. But for once even he doesn't have the commitment for it, and his weight shifts back without making contact.

"Okay, but, am I a very smart idiot? I would say yes, yes I am." It's blather, words to hang on the easy gold ribbon of his usual cadence, absurd and hollow. But it gets them home. Jedao shudders a little as soon as the door closes behind him, crumples in on himself slightly, has trouble meeting Quentin's eyes.

[magician_king]

"Thank god," says Quentin at the sight of them, hurrying to their sides- reaching to touch, then stopping because he's not sure where Jedao is hurt and how bad. He looks him up and down, looks at his slippery gaze, and then up at Fives for cues.

"Living room for now?"

[callmefives]

"Yes, ner'karta, you're a very smart idiot," Fives allows, though clearly he's an idiot. He stays close the whole way, then lays a hand at the small of Jedao's back when he crumples.

"Living room or bed?" he asks Jedao, giving Quentin a solemn look and tipping his head a little towards the injured collar bone. He'll let Jedao explain himself, if he's going to.

[ninefox]

"I don't care," he says honestly.

"It's just a cut," he adds, in a lower mutter.

[magician_king]

"Living room."

He decides, in that case.

"It's big enough in there that if I hit panic-blather I can just be a polar bear. I don't think I will, but-"

Given the last time things were fraught and how badly that went off the rails, he wants a contingency.

"I'll meet you there with tea, go settle in."

[callmefives]

Fives gives him A Look, because that's nothing like just a cut.

"Come on, ner'karta." He keeps his hand at the small of Jedao's back and heads them for the living room.

[ninefox]

He goes, like a toy car pushed on a track, obedient to Fives' hand. He sits the same way, hisses softly after a moment too late, out of synch with his own responses.

[magician_king]

He comes in behind they with the tray, and takes a place kneeling by the coffee table so he can pour the service. It's a truncated version of the hexarchate version, something more Earth, but sharing a full put together is still slower than his normal 'bag in a mug' approach.

"Do we need the infirmary, or is home care going to be okay?"

[callmefives]

Fives sits right next to him, thigh to thigh, even though he's not sure if Jedao really cares about the touch right now. He does.

"Home care will be fine, I put bacta on it." The great cure-all in his book.

"What did you mean about the drugs, ner'karta?" he asks finally, now that they're safe at home and all together.

[ninefox]

Jedao leans into him, just a little, and watches for the steam.

"I've started a low experimental dose of medicine that's supposed to make me not want to die anymore." The ghost of a laugh passes over his face. "I can't tell if it's doing anything yet."

[magician_king]

Quentin scoots over to his favourite, familiar spot- he settles on the carpet at their knees, and drapes an elbow over Jedao's lap, leaning up against his shins while the tea steeps and his hand stretches out to curl around Fives' knee. It's usually the cue for them both to tangle feet over and around him.

"Started taking recently enough that this might be how you were feeling before and the dose is too low and it just hasn't started working, or started taking long enough ago that the smart bet is that the medication is having the dead wrong effect on you? Which happens-" turning to tell Fives, for his benefit, "-people's brain chemistry is so different that treating this stuff, it's normal to try the wrong medication two or three times before you find one that will have the effect you hope."

[callmefives]

"Medicine could make him damage himself like this?" He frowns from Quentin to Jedao, and lays his hand reflexively at the nape of Jedao's neck. Like this, because he understands wanting pain, Jedao and Quentin have helped him feel less guilty and deviant for that, but this is a very different thing.

"Did you mean to go farther?" He'd cut into bone, that's not just pain,e even if he had avoided nerves and arteries and tendons in his choice of location.

[ninefox]

"Sharp mood swings are possible if it's really wrong. Most of the risk is for people with trouble initiating goals getting their momentum back before they stop wanting to kill themselves, but you both know that isn't my problem," he explains. "I don't think the medication was a factor at all, although I don't know how screwy being a temporary kid made my dosing schedule, so there might have been some - unbalance. I should make another variable in the tracker to test that..." he muses, trailing off for a few seconds.

Fives' hand is heavy and warm.

"I meant to do exactly what I did," he promises softly. No less, no more. "It's the twin to a cut Hux gave me before Christmas." When Jedao murdered them both. "I earned it, I wanted it - back. Wanted the deep scar. And I sat on it because I'm sorry and I know it's awful for you but then I was - so twisted up with something else and I just thought. Why not. Nobody dies. And it'll break me out of thinking the same stupid terrified shit over and over." His voice is soft, low, raspy. Talking through the pain, like thick smoke.

[magician_king]

"Oh-"

Says Quentin, charmed, and not totally surprised that Jedao already knows more about it than he does. He should, obviously, given his course of study. But it's nice to be outstripped. He untangles his arms from Jedao's lap, from Fives' knee, and passes one, then two cups of tea up to them.

He sobers up a little at what Jedao is explaining, the reminder that he's hurt- and that he's hurt himself.

"You know we love you. We're here for you."

Draping back into them, while he holds his own teacup balanced lightly on one knee, looking up between their faces, unable to help fretting.

[callmefives]

Fives swallows but nods his understanding. His scares are his, as much as his tattoos, and he remembers how much it had twisted him up to lose them all in that flood so long ago, or even just his tattoos more recently.

As for the rest, he leans into Jedao a little more as he accepts his tea one-handed. "What was it that had you so tangled up?" he asks quietly. "The other thing?" Because maybe talking will help.

[ninefox]

His chest goes tight, in spite of everything. He did know this question was inevitable. But he doesn't want to talk to them about this. It just makes Fives frustrated, and it makes Quentin confused and conflicted and it all becomes about how unreasonable Jedao's reaction is, instead of how simple his request, becomes doubt or pity or feeling pressured. And anyway Quentin asked him to do it. Jedao promised he would, and he's failing. It's not supposed to be Quentin's problem any more. Jedao is supposed to take care of it.

He lifts his hand, jostling Fives very slightly, and grinds his knuckles against the spot where his uniform hides the bandage, face blank.

[magician_king]

"J,"

Says Quentin, not sure what he's going through or exactly how to interpret that silence. He wants to offer him the chance to change the subject, and wants to push him to talk. He wants to ask him what he needs, and to never make him have to ask for it.

He settles for giving him a confused kiss on the knee, then resting his cheek there, like if he presses his ear against Jedao physically the knowledge of what to do to help will just float up, like sound through a glass pressed to a door.

[callmefives]

"Ner'karta," Fives murmurs, the pressure of his hand at Jedao's nape staying firm and steady as he leans in to press a kiss to his temple.

[ninefox]

He closes his eyes.

"I'm just being a coward." Something is thick in his throat. "If it wasn't stupid all the way down I'd have done the smart thing already and been through with it." He hates being stupid. Hates more complaining about stupid things to people who've heard it before.